Today, I’ll talk about how our mind works. I think we can solve our mental complexes when we relax while withdrawing from our activities. I’ll summarize my experience this summer in this article.
How to solve our mental complex
Sometimes, we have problems caused by our mind, such as fears of new challenges, sticking to perfection, unnecessary worries, not knowing self-values, inferiority, helplessness, or an easily, deeply, long-period depressed mind.
Our mental complex often causes them. And that makes our lives difficult.
We often know that we have it, and it causes our suffering. But we don’t know how to solve it.
At such times, try relaxing during withdrawal. That might solve our mental complex.
How the mental complex works
To explain it, I’ll explain the system of the mental complex.
A mental complex is a way of thinking that we acquired as a habit in the past but is no longer needed now.
For an example of perfectionism, assume the following circumstances: we often felt fear when our parents were discouraged by our behavior or results in childhood. We would die if our parents abandoned us. So, we learned we must do everything perfectly not to betray our parents.
After growing up and being able to live on our own, we no longer need such perfectionism.
The problems of keeping complex
But we sometimes keep that mindset. We try to make things perfect that don’t need to be perfect. That suffers us. We know it is perfectionism that we don’t need to keep. But we cannot stop it and don’t know how to solve it.
That is like a hidden, dirty place in our kitchen. There was a dirty smell in our kitchen in the past. And we couldn’t clean it due to some reason, such as a lack of time or energy. So we covered it and hid it from our sight. And we forgot it.
After we had enough time, we noticed a problem. Our kitchen looks perfect, but something smells. And we don’t know how to solve it.
We usually cannot face our complex
Our problems in life are the same. We are trying perfection to eliminate the “smell,” but it keeps smelling. We don’t know why because we covered it with clean clothes and forgot it.
In such a situation, our “efforts” are all nonsense because they never solve the root problem. We might do all we could, such as using deodorants, changing the air, frequently disposing of garbage, or avoiding cooking with strong-flavored ingredients. But they have almost no effect.
And we cannot face our complex because we don’t want to face our inferior point in a normal state. We want to believe we are perfect. “I must have a clean kitchen. My kitchen must never smell.” If people laughed at us for the smell of the kitchen in the past, we fear having such inferior things.
So, we cannot reveal the cover and clean up the source of the “smell.” Sometimes, we remember it as a flashback when we relax. But we immediately repress it and forget it.
Withdrawal allows us to face it
In such a situation, withdrawal from our ineffective activities would work. Relaxing during it motivates us to reveal and clean up our hidden, dirty things.
This is because we can admit our dirty things while we withdraw. “Withdrawal” means we accept the failure of our choices and give them up. In other words, “during withdrawal” is a state in which we are allowed to be imperfect. So we can reveal the cover and clean up the hidden, dirty place in our past.
After cleaning it up, we will notice that the root problem has been solved. Our lives get comfortable because we no longer struggle to eliminate the smell. And it will motivate us for the next cleaning. We can clean them up one after another with fun. So we can change our lives in the short term.
In the case of my life, it was always like that when I solved complexes. After I withdrew something, I often solved my complex.
This summer, I stopped updating Twitter. Last summer, I stopped product creation for money. When I gave up old creative teams in the past, it was like that, too. And they made my life more comfortable.
Conclusion
So I think we can solve our mental complexes when we relax while withdrawing from our activities.
During the positive state, we usually repress the flashback. On the other hand, during the withdrawal, we can reveal the dirty places in the past. So we can clean them up.
In my case, I had tried to create a slow life from this spring. But I couldn’t fulfill myself. But this summer, after I withdrew from many activities and cleaned my kitchen, I got a “home” where I could live as myself. That fulfilled my mind.
If we understand this mental work, we might be able to solve our complex sooner.
Thank you for reading this article. I hope to see you at the next one.
