Recently, I have considered whether I should help my brother, who runs a pastry store. Since there was no right answer, it required reasonableness and moderation. Let’s discuss how I solved such a problem with no answer.
What is a reasonable answer?
Sometimes, we want to decide how to tackle a complex problem. Examples are things related to happiness, health, and lifestyle.
Although they have no right answer, they directly affect the quality of our lives. That makes us want to avoid failure and try to identify the best option.
However, pursuing the best answer sometimes makes us hesitate to take action. We lose confidence and start to worry about the outcome. That stresses us and causes stagnation.
Rational thinking is suitable for such complex problems. It provides us with reasonableness and moderation.
Today, I will introduce an example of my recent rational judgment. It may help you decide more rationally and reduce your unnecessary stress.
My trouble
Recently, I needed to decide how to behave with a problem related to my brother. One of my brothers runs a pastry store, but I learned of his unsuitability as a manager.
He had an inferiority complex. That made him continuously take on excessive amounts of work without considering his and the staff’s limits. He pretended to be considerate, but that attitude ruined his attractiveness. His not giving any concrete instructions to the staff confused the management.
Last year, most of the employees at his shop quit. That was why he asked me to help his shop.
Although he was somehow managing his daily work together with a small staff, even an unexpected situation caused serious problems.
I could soon anticipate that it would lead to serious management failures in the near future, especially when there are large orders, like the ones at Christmas. Last Christmas, his sickly wife, who helped him sincerely, got ill, and his daughter, who was still a student, also worked for him. Even so, he continued to receive the excessive orders until Christmas. In other words, he valued orders more than the health of his wife and the staff.
His son and daughter were still students. Destroying his business would have a significant impact on them. I want children to grow up in a stable and protected environment. However, his mental state is unsuitable for management. Although mental complexity can be solvable for empathic and logical people, it seemed impossible to resolve his mental confusion.
In other words, all solutions were closed off.
On Christmas Day, I finally realized his fatal situation.
How should I behave?
In that situation, I considered my behavior. Should I help him or not?
Neither option would bring me the best outcome. Even if I help, continuing his business will keep harming his wife’s health. If I don’t, the collapse of his business will hurt his family in the near future. There was no correct answer.
Rationality revealed my misunderstanding and presented a more moderate choice.
Logically speaking, my help will not affect their happiness. The failure of my brother in business doesn’t mean it will make their family unhappy. Similarly, the business success has nothing to do with their happiness. Only knowing the long-term outcome can confirm recognition of the event.
In other words, it is arrogant to think that my help affects their happiness. They can come together in adversity and learn what truly matters. That depends on their decision, not mine.
The same goes for the happiness of his children. Having a different background from others doesn’t mean being unhappy. The harsh circumstances of childhood have nothing to do with their happiness. People can pursue happiness regardless of their circumstances.
My decision
That freed me from unnecessary responsibility for others’ happiness. My help will not affect them as long as it is in moderation.
That allowed me to focus on my interests. To be honest, although the help at Christmas was quite busy and exhausting, it was also exciting. It allowed me to give my all for the first time over the past ten years. Helping someone in a crucial situation is exciting.
I realized I wanted to engage in such active work more, even if without a salary. I wanted to learn new skills and try my potential.
That realization allowed me to decide to help him a bit more. It was not for his family; it was for me.
It would be reasonable as long as moderation is maintained. That is my current rational decision.
Conclusion
That is an example of my recent rational judgment.
Rational thinking provides us reasonableness and moderation.
It may help you decide more rationally and reduce your unnecessary stress.
Thank you for reading this article. I hope to see you in the next one.
