Recently, I have talked about the direction in life. Today, I will introduce an example of how it saves us from discouragement.
How to stop fearing others’ criticism
Sometimes, we fear others’ criticism of our values, especially when we have unique personalities.
If we are the minority, the majority tends not to understand our natures. The majority, especially people without empathy and individuality, seldom accept our unique values. That makes them criticize or deny our values and claim we should correct our personalities because we are different.
This often happens in relationships with a disparity in power, such as between parents and a child or a boss and an employee.
The pain of being denied what we love
Being denied something we love by others is always painful. That often makes us dishonest ourselves. We might disguise ourselves or lie to ourselves to be accepted. That confuses our values.
That is why we often want permission to exist when confused about values, although such permission never frees us. If we can be honest with ourselves, we will know that we want a natural life rather than a dishonest life with others’ acceptance.
However, we sometimes cannot stop fearing others’ criticism. That prevents us from solving our mental confusion.
In such a case, having a direction in life might help. Today, I will introduce an example of it.
A story of a girl who bought a car
Let me introduce a story. This is my fictional but partially based on facts from someone I know.
There was a girl who started working and living on her own after graduating from college. She had a dream. It is to have a car. She wanted to go to various places by car and see the world.
Although her salary was low, she patiently saved up. Then, finally, she bought a used car. It was old and full of scratches, but she cleaned it carefully, restored the big scratches by painting herself, and arranged it to make it comfortable. She placed cushions and decorated the interior.
She came to love the car. Even the spotty restoration painting on the scratches made her feel adorable.
Her good friend, who has empathy, blessed her. The friend found the car was an old rag one, but the friend knew it was the beginning of her dream come true. They enjoyed their first outing with it. Even if it was a short half-day trip, it was fantastic.
Her parents’ disdain
However, several days later, she got depressed. Her parents, who have less empathy, visited her. The moment they noticed her car, they spoke in despraise of it. They criticized it as too old, too scratched, and too embarrassed to ride.
Those words shocked her. Being denied what she loved, she felt like her experiences of loving and enjoying became worthless. It crushed her good memories, such as the joy of meeting the car, the happiness of taking care of it, and the enjoyment of the past drive with her friend. She felt it destroyed something important inside of her. She cried in bed that night.
Early the next morning, after enough crying and waking up, she realized she could choose which values to believe. One is to follow her parents’ words that those experiences were worthless. The other is to trust her friend’s blessing. She found that they indicated in the opposite direction.
She decided to go in the direction that her friend indicated. She wanted to know the possibilities she didn’t know. Although she didn’t know what she could do in her life yet, she wanted to be someone who could at least bless and encourage people like her friend, not people who despise people like her parents.
She knew that that decision would affect her for the rest of her life.
Enjoying her proceeding
After that decision, she enjoyed traveling to many places with her friend and the car. She saw and learned a lot of things in the world, such as how large this world is, how diverse people live, and how people live.
One day, she understood that whether the car was new or old didn’t matter. What she wanted was to travel and know the world. She never cared about the car’s scratches because she could not see them when she was in the seat.
Of course, choosing her parents’ values was also a way of life. That decision might make her competent, rich, and approved by her parents.
However, she didn’t regret her decision because she determined her direction. She knew she loved the adorable old car, even if it was full of scratches.
Our important things
The ‘car’ for her might be something else for us, such as a motorcycle, instruments, painting tools, or items for our hobby.
Some may despise those things as worthless. That often depresses us.
However, as long as we follow our direction in life, we never get confused by others’ values. That prevents us from hurting something important within us through others’ criticisms.
We don’t have to hesitate in our ways of life. We can learn and progress.
In other words, we have solid values. Some people wish for mental strength—an unbreakable heart. Perhaps the direction in life will give them it.
Conclusion
That is an example of how the direction in life saves us from discouragement.
As long as we follow our direction in life, we never get confused by our values.
This way of living might allow us to stop fearing others’ criticism.
Thank you for reading this article. I hope to see you in the next one.
