Today, I’ll talk about how to stop worrying. I introduce a method to stop worrying, the Naming Characteristics Method.
How to stop worrying
We often see someone who has problems and wants to stop worrying. And sometimes, we also have such worries. And we want to stop them, too.
I think worry is, in other words, a double bind. We have two opposite options and cannot choose because both will cause us pain. If we choose one option, we will have unbearable pain. But if we choose the other one, we will have another pain. So we cannot decide it. And this “bind” makes us exhausted.
At such a time, the following way might help us. I call this the “Naming Characteristics Method.”
Naming Characteristics Method
This method is simple. We give names to our characteristics. If we name it, we can accept its existence. And it means that we prioritize our characteristics over other benefits. This resolves the double bind.
For example, some people have saved their minds by knowing they are HSPs. HSP is one of the introvert’s characteristics. They often say, “Knowing I was it, I was saved.”
Let’s assume we have such characteristics. The double bind is as follows: We are patient to be approved by others, but we feel pain because we don’t have such characteristics. On the other hand, if we choose our characteristics, in other words, we refuse to do disgusting things for us, we will lose social approval. Both cause us pain.
At such a time, if we accept that we are HSPs, we are accepted by another society: the HSP’s society. In other words, knowing the existence of a characteristic frees us from the obsession that we must be like others. We know there is a different kind. And we are just that kind. So if we know the names of our characteristics, we can accept them.
Making a new society saves us
If so, we can find that we can apply this principle. We can give a name to our characteristics. We can create a society where people who have characteristics like ours belong. It gives us social approval for our characteristics.
For example, assume we want to live freely without following other people. But we suffer because no one around us has such a characteristic.
In such a situation, we can name it that way. We can name it freely, such as “New Value Seeker,” “Frontier Developer,” “Social Escaper,” or “Individual Breakthrough Type.” We can say, “I am a new value seeker type of person.” It would give us acceptance and a direction in our way of life.
Of course, in the beginning, only one person, ourselves, belongs to the new society. But we can assume that there is someone like us. And we can find them and contribute to them.
Conclusion
So when we want to stop worrying, this “Naming Characteristics Method” could be a way.
This method prioritizes our characteristics. It would reduce the suffering caused by our characteristics. I think this method would work for people who have their values, especially.
Thank you for reading this article. I hope to see you at the next one.
