The habit of making rational judgments freed me from many mental pains. One example is that I became able to apologize to others without blaming myself. Let’s talk about it.
How to respond to unreasonable accusations
Sometimes, we want to deal with others’ unacceptable behavior. Many people, such as parents, teachers, and bosses, insist without considering our emotions and circumstances. That stresses us.
One typical example is unreasonable demands. They claim actions from us and look down on us if we fail to do them.
Their negative emotions toward us hurt our hearts. We often cannot stop blaming ourselves. That exhausts us.
That is why we want to deal with others’ unreasonable behavior.
Fortunately, I resolved this problem. Rational judgment allowed me to apologize without mental pain. Although the negative emotions toward me hurt me, I can prevent mental exhaustion by self-condemnation. It has eliminated 98% of my mental suffering.
Today, I will introduce how I logically think. This logic might help you to be more rational and reduce your mental suffering.
Finding a logical fallacy
Rationality allows us to apologize to unreasonable people. We can do it without blaming ourselves.
In other words, being unable to find the logical breakdown creates an endless loop of self-blame. If we understand the rational reason that there is no necessity to consider it, we can consciously decide to stop it. That eliminates almost all of our mental struggles.
To make it easier to understand, let’s look at an example.
Suppose our bosses or parents demand that we follow their values, but we cannot make it happen. We cannot be extroverts if we are empathic and logical. We cannot swim if we are not good at it. We cannot be more patient if we are exhausted.
However, that makes them accuse us, “Why can’t you do it?”
We cannot answer this question. This is because it has no answer. It is logically broken.
The fact that we cannot do it is already a reason. We cannot provide any more reasons than that. There is no point in seeking more reasons for the reason.
To be precise, several essences would enable us to do it. For example, if we know how to swim, we can do it.
However, we don’t know the essence. It doesn’t make sense to question why we don’t know it when we don’t know it.
That is why we cannot answer it. It is an incoherent question. If we try to find a reasonable answer, we naturally repeat endlessly the question of why we cannot. All we can do is excuse or accept our incompetence. That exhausts us and often drives us to be perfect.
Dealing with unreasonable
Rationality provides us with solutions to handle it.
For example, depending on the responsibility, we can take two measures, as follows:
- If it is our responsibility, we can apologize and change our attitudes. It includes leaving the environment. For example, if we told them that we could swim, we can apologize for not being able to swim and make up for it.
- If it is their responsibility, we can respond unreasonably as well as they do. There is no need to make sense out of demands that don’t make sense. For example, if we understand that they just want to lament the situation, we can apologize to calm them down.
Either way, we can decide how to settle down rationally. We don’t blame ourselves. That prevents us from an endless loop of self-condemnation.
In my case, my parents often complained that I didn’t follow their values. I used to think that made them unhappy. I felt like I was the perpetrator.
However, that was my misunderstanding due to my poor rationality. I realized that they just want to lament and refresh their minds. They didn’t feel unhappy, even if I could not do it. They could only express their emotions unreasonably.
Although those with sociality can recognize it intuitively, those who are only logical, like me, cannot. Since sociality and rationality are innate, we have to understand things logically.
That is why developing logical sense allowed me to discern the difference. That reduced my stress dramatically.
Conclusion
That is an example of how to stop endless self-blaming.
Rational judgment allows us to apologize without mental pain.
This logic might help you to be more rational and reduce mental suffering.
Thank you for reading this article. I hope to see you in the next one.
