As I mentioned in an earlier article (this article), I decided to try living with my parents temporarily for a while. I will migrate again next week. While moving, there might be an interruption in updates. It is a year of change for me.
One reason I stopped being afraid of my parents is that I relaxed. Let’s talk about it.
How to maintain our values
Sometimes, we want to maintain ourselves.
The values of others often disturb our minds. For example, when someone looks down on us, we feel angry and want to look back at them. If we do something different from others and are looked at strangely, we feel ashamed.
Even if there is no particular loss, we end up suffering mentally. Although there is no problem if we do things differently, we care too much about what others think. Although it is beneficial when we want to maintain our current situation, it prevents us from improving our lives when we want to change.
Even if we try to be dignified, it makes us exhausted.
That is why we want to maintain our values.
Relaxation based on rationality will solve it. It allows us to maintain ourselves without mental suffering. Today, I will explain why.
Two ways of life
If we are empathic and logical, we have two ways of life, as follows:
- Empathic way of life: We live with effort and tension. Putting in effort allows us to maintain our values.
- Logical way of life: We live with relaxation. Releasing tension allows us to maintain our values and improve our lives.
If you want to live your own way, the latter would suit you.
Focusing on reality
Relaxation based on rationality allows us to maintain our values. We don’t have to be nervous.
This is because nervousness creates emotions, including fear. On the other hand, rationality makes us focus on reality, and it saves us.
For example, I am no longer afraid of being looked down on since I started living rationally. I am not socially successful, have a low income, and am about to start living with my parents. Logically speaking, they are true. Logical judgment doesn’t bring me emotions. I can accept them calmly.
Then, rationally speaking, there is no need to deny myself just because they are true. Happiness has nothing to do with these facts. The moment I understand it, I can stop thinking about it any further. There is no need to consider while forcing a connection between them. Associating them means a logical contradiction.
Now I can laugh and tell my flaws because it is just a fact. I am single, I am suffering from a weak liver, I am not muscular, I am not good at small talk, and I am indifferent to trends. Wow, I might be disqualified from the perspective of social values!
However, my rationality says fixing those things will not improve my life. If I can rationally understand that I can be happy by marrying, I will be sincerely grateful to the person who taught me and will try to get married. If I know how to improve my liver rationally, I will also thank the person from my heart.
In other words, these solutions are unreasonable for me so far. Of course, the situation may change, and there may come a time when I want them. However, that is not the case for now. Each person is walking a different path.
That is why I can stay calm even when someone points them out. Reality tells me that they have nothing to do with my happiness. Other things fill my life more. That protects my values.
Emotionless reality
When we look at reality, emotions don’t arise.
Many people misunderstand this. They believe that looking at reality discourages them. No, it is wrong! They are seeing their inner images, not reality.
Reality is emotionless. It is peaceful. It makes you relax and feel at ease. Don’t look at different things.
It tells us the right perspective on happiness.
For example, relaxation is one form of abundance. It is clear.
The fact tells us that shedding tears is also one form of abundance because it releases our stress and calms us. In other words, crying doesn’t mean unhappiness. Rather, it can be a part of happiness because it is a process of increasing abundance.
Unhappiness is the unbearable stress, such as losing something important and not having one’s wishes come true. Crying is a relief from that misfortune.
We have to distinguish them. Things that cause stress are different from things that calm you. Reality allows us to discern between them.
Being looked down upon is the same. Rationality allows us to notice the difference between happiness and comparison. Confusion about them causes pain.
Rationality is tightly connected to relaxation. That is why relaxation allows us to maintain ourselves.
Conclusion
That is why relaxation based on rationality allows us to maintain ourselves without mental suffering.
Rationality makes us focus on reality.
Reality is emotionless. It makes you relax and feel at ease.
This knowledge might help you maintain your values and act your own way.
Thank you for reading this article. I hope to see you in the next one.
