Recently, I have mentioned love and rationality to resolve our mental confusion. Today, I will explain rationality more concretely.
How to be more rational
Sometimes, we want to be more reasonable and reduce emotional reactions. Our unstable minds often stir our moods, drive us to destructive behavior, make us seek love, and cause stagnation in life.
One solution is to distinguish love and rationality and to be more reasonable. All our troubles can be solved with rationality; love cannot. In other words, our critical mistake is pursuing love to solve our problems.
However, we sometimes don’t know how rationality solves our spiritual problems, including matters of love.
To make it easier to understand how rationality works for our mindsets, I will introduce an example of the difference in thinking. It will show you how reason satisfies your desire for acceptance and improves your life.
Love vs. rationality
Confusing a matter of rationality with a matter of love causes us mental problems.
Love differs from rationality, as follows:
- Love is a logical concept, not a sensation. It is not something to feel or perceive. Since we cannot feel it, it cannot be used as a criterion for judgment. It is something to believe in, not for comparison or judgment.
- Rationality is a means to realize love. It enables us to choose a moderate way from among many options. It means we can always make decisions, even if we are uncertain of the outcome. That allows us to choose our responses, receive feedback, learn from it, let go of the past, and move on to the next problem.
Approaching our problems with rationality brings us solutions. In other words, we don’t need love to solve our issues.
An example of a man with an inferiority complex
To make it easier to understand, let’s look at an example.
Let’s say that a man had an inferiority complex. He failed in various activities, such as academics, work, finances, relationships, and family. Many people looked down on him and said, ‘You are a failure!’ He also believed so and was disappointed in himself.
In this situation, he was trying to judge by love. That made him seek someone who would be kind to him and accept him.
His desire to be accepted was never fulfilled. Everyone is different. His unique circumstances could only be recognized by him. In other words, no one could accept him more than he accepted himself.
That is the state in which love is used as the criterion of judgment. That made his life a struggle. Love cannot be filled—it is not something to be gained but something that already exists.
Distinguishing reasonableness
Distinguishing love from reason and relying on rational thinking provided him with a new perspective.
He began to notice the unreasonableness.
For example, he thought, ‘What is failure?’
- (An unreasonable claim that links his state to love) I am a failure. I am worthless. Everyone says so. (Or, he becomes positive in an attempt to deny it.)
- (A reasonable claim without linking his state to love) I ranked 250th out of 300 at that school. I continued that job for 10 months. My current assets total 300 dollars.
There was a significant difference in perception between the two.
He realized that no one can say what failure is. It requires a long-term, broader perspective. If he makes great progress a year from now, even his current state will become a part of his success. It means that his current success or failure should be evaluated at least one year later.
That showed him that his success or failure can never be evaluated clearly. A one-year outcome needs an evaluation from a ten-year perspective; ten-year results require a lifelong perspective; his life would be judged by future generations, and so on, to infinity.
He stopped pretending to be a successful person. He realized that clinging to it was pointless.
Accepting himself
He also realized his ignorance. He knew less than he thought. He thought, ‘If nobody, including me, can say I am a success or a failure, then what am I? It is pointless to judge it by whether it is a success or a failure. However, I want to improve my life. I just need to progress my life from my current situation, regardless of success or failure.’
That awareness made him accept himself. He stopped blaming himself for the things he could not do.
It meant he no longer needed others’ acceptance. He discovered his love. To be precise, he stopped linking superficial matters to his love. When his love was freed from unnecessary burdens, he became able to believe in love.
He also recognized that no one was denying his love. They were denying his rationality. From their perspective, he was behaving unreasonably. They thought his changing attitude would improve his life. In other words, their contempt was for his social improvement. They wanted him to succeed more.
He realized there was always love. That made him forgive others and love even enemies.
He started doing what he could at the moment, regardless of his status or dream. Since he knew his ignorance, he temporarily put his dream on hold and tried new things that he had avoided all along. He had believed they would worsen his position, but awareness of ignorance made him try them.
Naturally, there were unexpected discoveries that improved his life. The unexpected always happens. The unexpected thing when we don’t expect good things always show a beneficial side.
He started to enjoy the unexpected. That freed him from fear of change. He learned that there were other joyful aspects of the world that he had never seen before.
He began to improve his life while knowing what love is. He resolved his inferiority complex.
Conclusion
That is how rationality solves our spiritual problems.
Confusing a matter of rationality with a matter of love causes us mental problems.
This perspective may help you resolve your inner struggle.
Thank you for reading this article. I hope to see you in the next one.
