Let’s talk logically about empathy. Recently, I succeeded in describing what I could not explain before in words. It is about who our lives belong to. I will talk about it today.
How to stop lamenting our rewardless lives
Sometimes, we might want to lament our rewardless lives. We feel guilty for ourselves when we get no reward, even though we gave it our all. That makes us grieve our lives.
It often happens with our relationship with our parents if we have an inferiority complex. We don’t get any material or mental rewards, even though we have sacrificed much of our lives for them. Sometimes, instead of rewarding us, they accuse us and even break our lives more.
Whenever we have those experiences, we want to lament our lives and desire to live our own lives. I have experienced it many times in the past. If you like this blog, you may have had such hard times.
We can solve it with logical thinking. If we know our lives are ours, we will never grieve them. In addition, difficulties become part of our happiness, no matter how hard they are.
Today, I will explain the logic that allows us to stop lamenting and begin our lives. This logic might free us from the emotional domination of our parents’ values.
The two teachings that made me uncomfortable
To explain it, I will introduce a typical misunderstanding of our values. I sometimes have heard the teachings, as follows:
“Be grateful to your parents for giving birth to a healthy body.”
“Thank your parents for raising you in a healthy body.”
Whenever I heard of them, they made me uncomfortable. I felt something was wrong with those words, but I could not explain what was wrong. Then, finally, I was able to explain the wrongness in words.
Who owns our bodies?
It is about who our lives belong to. The above teachings are lies to control us.
Let’s consider who our bodies belong to. The answer is: ourselves since our birth. Our parents have never had them, not even for a moment.
Our lives are ours from the moment we are considered humans. From the moment of fertilization, our bodies are ours. Of course, there are differences in timing when we consider babies humans based on abortion rights, etc. However, at least from the moment we are born, we are considered humans. Our parents have never once “owned” our bodies, even if they grew our bodies up in their wombs.
Our lives are the same. They have never owned our lives.
The lies that dominate children’s lives
However, those teachings I introduced above are as if they had owned our bodies or lives.
“Be grateful for giving birth to a healthy body.”
It is false! Our bodies have been ours from the beginning. Our parents cannot give them to us because they have never owned our bodies. No one can provide us with what he doesn’t have. They are lying as if they have had our bodies.
“Be thankful for raising you in a healthy body.”
It is wrong! Our health is ours from the start. Whether to feed the children or not is a matter for the parents. That is their circumstance. Children cannot affect them. In other words, that is something that parents are free to do.
They are just pretending to be victims, even though they were able to do it freely.
Perhaps it is to control us.
Two types of parents
There are two types of parents, as follows:
- Parents we children respect and like
- Parents we cannot respect or don’t like
Perhaps love is accepting individuality. In other words, if our parents deny our individuality, we feel a lack of love. That determines our liking for our parents.
If we like our parents, there is no problem. In this case, we have neither an inferiority complex nor lamenting our rewardless lives.
On the other hand, if we have an inferiority complex or confusion about values, it means we cannot respect or don’t like them.
The purpose of bringing up children
The purpose of bringing up children also varies depending on the type of parent. There are two types of raising children.
- Parents we respect and like: They raise children for their love and joy.
- Parents we cannot respect or don’t like: They raise children for their investments.
In the former case, there is no problem, of course.
On the other hand, some parents give birth to children for their investment. For example, having children increases their social reputation. Their children might take care of them in the future. Their children might bring them money after they begin to work. Those things are beneficial, so they make children.
Why we don’t have to be grateful to our parents
In that case, we don’t have to be grateful to our parents because we are an investment. Investments could fail. All investors should know it.
That is why we don’t have to follow their values. We can show them it was their failure. They wanted slaves or machines to fulfill their lives, but the children who were born were not like that. They were humans. Not slaves or machines.
Naturally, we get mentally ill if we pretend to be slaves or machines. We need to be aware of it.
Humans have individuality. Slaves or machines do not. It means they failed to give birth to slaves or machines.
Our difficulties become part of happiness
Our bodies, health, and lives are ours. They are lying as if they have owned our bodies or health.
That awareness gives us freedom because we understand we don’t have to reward or be grateful to our parents.
If we realize it, our difficulties become part of happiness, no matter how hard they are, because we can improve our lives. We never feel an inferiority complex or confusion about values. We can follow our honest will.
In my definition, following our honest will is happiness and success. That is why understanding the above logic will be part of happiness.
To free ourselves from the emotional domination of our parents, we can rest our sense of empathy and stimulate our logical judgments.
If we want to be grateful to someone, being thankful to the gods we believe in would be a good way. The gods gave us our bodies or lives. Perhaps that will be healthy gratitude.
Conclusion
The above is the logic to stop lamenting and begin our lives.
Our bodies, health, and lives are ours from the beginning.
This logic might free us from the emotional domination of our parents’ values.
Thank you for reading this article. I hope to see you in the next one.
