In the previous article (this article), I introduced how to achieve goals while satisfying ourselves. Today, I will talk about its examples through my recent experiences.
How to achieve our ideals
Sometimes, we want to achieve our ideal life. We might have ideal lifestyles, such as quiet living in the countryside, an environment with abundant nature, freedom throughout the day, or a simple but decent and frugal life.
If we are people with high empathy and creativity, living freely and naturally might satisfy us, even without luxury.
Such desire drives us to realize our goals.
Inappropriate goals that cause impatience or stagnation
However, we sometimes don’t know how to achieve those goals. That often makes us have inappropriate goals. For example, we might try to get social wealth, such as higher salaries, status, fame, honors, or human networks.
They often exhaust us because they force us to have more restrictions, even though we want freedom. That makes us impatient or stagnant.
On the other hand, an appropriate direction allows us to proceed calmly. We can feel our situation will get better and better, even little by little. It is only a matter of time. That allows us to enjoy every day while waiting for accomplishment.
Today, I will introduce my experiences with progressing my ideals. They might show us how to achieve goals while satisfying ourselves.
Two approaches to achieving our goals
There are two approaches to achieving our goals, as follows:
- Proceeding directly in a positive direction: We focus on only one value aspect. It is easy to get a social position but hard to fulfill ourselves. We tend to be impatient and cannot enjoy everyday life.
- Proceeding while caring about two contradictory sides: We anticipate, prepare, and respond to the changes inside us. Although it requires flexibility based on our minds, we can satisfy ourselves. We can be calm and enjoy progressing.
If we are highly empathic and logical, the latter would suit us.
How can we anticipate and respond to our minds?
Perhaps the most confusing part is anticipating and responding to our minds.
We have to care about at least two contradictory aspects inside us. If we are people with high empathy and logical sense, we have two contradictory senses: empathy and logical sense.
They often cause us to have conflicting feelings or desires. For example, we might want to achieve exciting goals while thinking logically without emotions. We might want to help weak people but identify people who are not worth giving our hands to. We might want to secure long-term safety while doing trial and error.
They tell us that we are not simple. If we ignore one side, we will feel like we are lying to ourselves or killing our minds. That is why we have to treat our two aspects.
Two phases of waves: positive and negative waves
We can find which side we should fill at present by asking ourselves the following two questions:
- “What feels like it is not going as anticipated now?”
- “What aspect on the other side of that should I satisfy?”
Perhaps it is easier to understand if we think of it in waves.
Imagine we have two phases of waves: positive and negative. Those two upside and downside waves correspond to our two aspects. If we can ride both waves well, we can move in a more comfortable direction and fulfill ourselves.
The positive wave is the approach we are focusing on currently. The negative wave is the opposite. That is an approach that we don’t focus on right now. Our two aspects come and go like waves.
When we reach the limit of realizing one aspect, we want to try another. At such a time, we feel, “Things are not going as expected.” That is a sign to change our attitude.
In other words, it is a good signal. That is not something we should ignore or overcome. We don’t have to defeat signals. A signal is feedback from reality. Denying reality is a sign that we are only sticking to one side.
Changing our approaches according to the signal
We can change our approaches according to that signal.
For example, I got that signal last week. When I was vacuuming at home, I handled the vacuum cleaner roughly, and that caused the surface of the flooring to peel off. That shocked me because I had to repair it. Furthermore, unfortunately, several minutes later, the head part of the vacuum cleaner also broke. It was an old one. I was discouraged and felt, “Things are not going well.”
However, I noticed that that was a signal to change my approach. I tried to think about what the approach was so far and what the opposite one was.
That told me that the goal I focused on at that time was how to keep my resources well without destroying them. On the other hand, the opposite is how to get rid of old things and reorganize my resources.
The reason my discouragement was gone immediately
That allowed me to change my behavior. I noticed that the vacuum cleaner was too old. I can replace it until the next move. In addition, I have made a list of what I need to replace the next time I migrate to the countryside.
I immediately forgot my discouragement and enjoyed those processes because I could progress toward a secluded life in the countryside.
That is an example of proceeding while caring about two contradictory sides.
The hidden possibilities
Sometimes, it is hard to see how another approach will help our future.
For example, now I am heading toward a secluded life in the countryside. Perhaps the positive aspect is investing. If I increase my assets, I can migrate more easily.
However, I have to wait right now. My assets are in the nurturing phase. In other words, I have already reached my limit with a positive approach.
On the other hand, I have recently enjoyed food fermentation. Now I am trying to create a new probiotic drink. Although it seems irrelevant to my goal, I found it would work for my goal.
A comfortable lifestyle that we can use in the future
A comfortable lifestyle can combine with our ideals. It would be useful, no matter how irrelevant it looks to our future.
Fermentation is an example. It is a form of my natural life and a part of my secluded life.
Several days ago, I realized that it would give me the possibility of a secluded life. If I create my probiotic drink, I don’t have to make fermented foods so often, such as yogurt or okara yogurt every two weeks, for my gut health. I can store my probiotic drink for the long term, over 1 year, at room temperature if I preserve it appropriately.
That gives me a lifestyle where I don’t have to go to the grocery store frequently. I can now shop for groceries less than once a month.
It gave me more options for a living environment because I could live away from a grocery store. It helped a lot with my goal: a secluded life in the countryside.
One of the negative thinking
That is not positive thinking. Positive thinking reinforces the current approach. On the other hand, caring about the other side forces us to stop our current activities, but it satisfies us and gives another aspect of comfort.
In other words, we can say that it is one of negative thinking. We focus on what is not going as expected inside us. That satisfies our two aspects and allows us to proceed with the best state.
That prevents stagnation. If we are free from bias, we can act according to reality. We can increase our satisfaction, even little by little. It is only a matter of time. That allows us to wait and enjoy every day.
Conclusion
We can proceed while caring about two contradictory sides instead of rushing directly in a positive direction.
That might allow us to achieve our goals and satisfy ourselves.
Thank you for reading this article. I hope to see you in the next one.
