In the previous article (this article), I explained the terrible business management at my brother’s pastry shop. Although that experience brought me into a perplexing mental state, I finally solved it today. Let’s talk about it.
How to clear a vague emotional state
Sometimes, we want to clear a vague emotional state.
In such a state, we tend not to understand the essential problem. Even if we identify the cause, it is often difficult to resolve. Since we cannot solve it, we continue worrying. That exhausts us.
I had such a problem yesterday. The experience of helping my brother on Christmas left me consumed by strange thoughts. I could not stop various thoughts, like the following.
- ‘Why didn’t he reduce the number of orders taken?’
- ‘What kind of mental state was he in?’
- ‘Why did he avoid rational decisions at that time?’
- ‘Should I help him?’
- ‘Why did he start to pretend to be empathic and logical?’
- ‘Can extroverts change their mindset and solve their mental complexes as adults?’
Many things were difficult to solve. That confused me.
Then, I finally became able to understand my situation rationally. I was just sad. In other words, the above questions had no answer. Awareness of my emotions resolved these questions. Today, I will explain the process.
My process of understanding the situation
Expressing ourselves helps us realize our emotions. In other words, try expressing yourself instead of seeking an answer if you cannot stop your thoughts.
In my case, I could not identify clear answers to the above questions. That tired me.
Then, I naturally remembered my past relationship with him. He was extroverted, unlike me. I had two brothers. I was the youngest child in my family, 7 and 5 years younger than they were.
A 5- to 7-year difference was significant when we were children. From my childhood perspective, they were perfect people who could do anything. For example, when I was 5, they were 10 and 12. They could do everything better than I. They could run faster than I, were stronger, were smarter, knew various plays, and enjoyed many activities. I had always felt that they were powerful, splendid people.
When we are young, we cannot understand the concept that the age gap affects the ability, so my childhood experiences made me admire the position of being an older brother. To me, the title ‘older brother’ represented a level of capability I could never reach.
Recognizing the situation
My second brother, who is 5 years older than I am, often took care of me when I was a small child. Since he was extroverted, he was good at taking care of others. I had far more good memories than bad ones with him. I felt the attraction of extroverted people.
Since there was a 5-year difference, when I was in junior high school, he went off to a university far away. Since then, we have rarely seen each other. My brother’s personality in my mind remained at that point.
However, I was shocked when I helped him this Christmas. There was no brother I remembered.
Although he was extroverted, he pretended to be empathic and logical. He was obsessed with what he could not do. That ruined his natural attractiveness. In other words, he had a mental complex.
Realizing the emotion
When I realized the situation, I finally noticed my emotion: I was sad.
I realized that holding the title ‘older brother’ didn’t mean someone was strong or perfect. My understanding was wrong, not reality. The firm belief I had for a long time had been shattered. In other words, the one who needed to change was not those around me, but myself.
That awareness solved the questions I listed at the beginning of this article. It made those questions meaningless while sacrificing the fundamental belief that had long entertained me.
Rationally learning about reality can be both enjoyable and sad. We can improve our lives while sacrificing biased dreams and obsessions.
Although I still don’t know the meaning of being rational, I am following that path.
Conclusion
That was how I resolved questions without answers.
Expressing ourselves helps us realize our emotions.
That might help you clear a vague emotional state.
Thank you for reading this article. I hope to see you in the next one.
