Recently, I talked about the direction of our lives. Proceeding in an appropriate direction gives us a more comfortable life, even little by little. Today, I will explain why we lose direction in our lives due to an inferiority complex.
How to find the right direction
Sometimes, we want to reduce the confusion about values caused by an inferiority complex. An inferiority complex suppresses our wants and drives us to follow social values. Although those achievements excite us, they always exhaust us and never fulfill our lives.
We don’t want to end our lives only with such an exhausting inferiority complex. We want to use our individuality, live comfortably, and go our way, even if our surroundings don’t value our values. We don’t care if the crowds accept our lives. Helping a few people wholeheartedly fulfills us.
In other words, what many people can do doesn’t satisfy us, no matter how much we are praised. Ignoring our individuality means we are killing ourselves.
That is why we want to eliminate the confusion caused by an inferiority complex.
A loss of orientation due to an inferiority complex
Proceeding in one direction and modifying our direction with feedback would give us an appropriate direction, as I mentioned in an earlier post (this article).
However, we sometimes cannot find where we are going. An inferiority complex confuses our orientations.
Today, I will explain why we cannot find the direction and how to find it. This might allow us to live more comfortably.
Four senses and the direction of our lives
We can find the direction by distinguishing which sense is the master and which one is the servant.
To explain its mental logic, I will introduce our four senses. We could have four senses based on our personalities: sociality, competition, empathy, and logic. Their relationship is shown in the following image:
We have at least two senses.
The direction we take in
Assume we are empathic and creative people in this article. We have empathy and logical senses.
In this case, we will have a comfortable life if we go toward using those senses, as shown in the following image:
Proceeding in that direction will lead to an independent lifestyle. In other words, an independent life will suit us if we are empathic and creative.
On the other hand, the direction of an inferiority complex is the opposite. The direction toward sociality and competition never fulfills us, although it gives us the excitement of victory.
Excitement from an inferiority complex is short-term stimulation, but satisfaction from the right direction gives us long-term, persistent peace of mind.
The master-servant relationship of our senses
The master-servant relationship is different between the direction that suits us and one of an inferiority complex.
- (When we go in the right direction) Empathy and logic are the masters. Sociality and competition are the servants.
- (When we follow an inferiority complex) Sociality and competition are the masters. Empathy and logic are the servants.
Let me explain them.
The healthy case
If we head in the right direction, we follow empathy or logical sense. Sociality and competition are their servants.
For example, imagine a situation in which we listened to a song with inspiring melodies and lyrics and felt like singing it. If our minds are healthy, we try to satisfy that desire by thinking with empathy or logic.
We might think we can go to karaoke to satisfy our emotions. If we cannot afford it, we can be creative logically. We could use a smartphone’s karaoke app and sing in our rooms. If we feel it could be noisy singing in the room by using our empathy, we might be able to search for another place or a way to reduce noise with our creativity.
We repeat using empathy and logical sense to realize our wishes.
That will naturally make us go in the direction of independence. We don’t compete with others. We don’t have to use sociality.
Sometimes, we get fans after we feel like uploading a video of our songs. However, getting fans or treating them is not the master. They are a bonus.
How an inferiority complex creates confusion
On the other hand, if we head in the direction of an inferiority complex, sociality and competition are the masters. They use empathy and logical sense as servants.
If we are in this state, we do things indirectly and roundaboutly. In addition, we try to create something to fill sociality and competition.
For example, if we want to sing a heart-touching song but have an inferiority complex, we first consider the meaning of the activity because we are confused about values. We might feel, “Why do I want to sing?” and “What is the purpose of singing?”
Usually, there is no clear reason to want to sing. We sing because we want to. It is rare to be able to verbalize the root of a desire.
However, an inferiority complex forbids us to do things without reason. That ‘reason’ indicates social value. That is why people with an inferiority complex always require special reasons to begin or end their activities.
Excitement as motivation
If the reason tells us that the activity will provide enough social value, it excites us and paralyzes the desire for long-term fulfillment. The imagination drives us to do it.
If we want to sing a beautiful song, we might ask ourselves the reason for the desire. Then, we might think, “If I become a YouTuber and a great singer, I can be rich!” and “That is the reason why I wanted to sing!” The reason always connects to social value.
That reason excites us and paralyzes the desire for long-term fulfillment.
The contradiction of the detour
However, there is a problem. We cannot fulfill our wants until we achieve the goal. In the case of singing, we cannot sing that song until we become great YouTubers. In addition, we are not interested in video editing or sound engineering.
That makes us try to take the shortest route. We have to do things we are not interested in first. That is why we lose motivation while keeping going and coming to wish for more motivation.
We can find that it is pointless from an objective perspective because we don’t have to be great YouTubers to fulfill our desires. We can sing it from now.
In this state, empathy and logical sense are the servants of sociality and competition. We imagine based on socially successful images. We create logic based on those images.
We can understand that our empathy and logical sense never satisfy us, no matter how we use them. We are heading in the wrong direction in this state.
The straight way to fulfill ourselves
If we go in the direction that suits us, we will never have problems with motivation or confidence. We can realize it gradually in our own way. Our empathy and creativity, which are the masters, allow us to do them.
Of course, we never care about the quality of the results. We don’t worry about grades when we feel like singing. Our passion makes us start it immediately, no matter how small the first step is.
That is what makes our lives progress. We can move forward based on the direction, even if we don’t know what the future holds.
After singing karaoke many times, we may suddenly realize we can publish our songs. If we love certain types of songs and have enjoyed them, we already have enough core qualities and characteristics. That gives us a core fan base.
However, that is not the main purpose. It is a reward for us going our own way enough.
Conclusion
That is the process by which an inferiority complex confuses direction.
We can find the ideal direction by distinguishing which sense is the master and which one is the servant.
This might allow us to live more comfortably.
Thank you for reading this article. I hope to see you in the next one.
