I recently understood that life heading toward independence suited me, so I began to seek such a way of life.
Today, I will introduce a part of the lifestyle.
How to stop caring about others
Sometimes, we want to stop caring about others, especially when we are exhausted in social life. Although making others happy excites us, it can also stress us.
Making others happy sounds brilliant, but it also contains problems. The typical one is that it sometimes confuses our values. If we focus too much on contributing to others, we could lose sight of what we want to do for ourselves.
We may suppose that we have to help everyone who is unhappy. Although it would be one way of life, we can easily predict that we will be exhausted because there is no end to unhappiness in the world.
That is why we want to know how to balance caring about others and ourselves.
However, we sometimes don’t know it. This prevents us from breaking through the current situation.
In such a case, knowing the lifestyle of those who live independently would help us. It tells us how to balance. Today, I will introduce the way of thinking.
Two ways of life
A way of independent life is different from the one that depends on society, as follows:
- In a way of life that depends on society, contributing to society as a part of society is the highest purpose. The more necessary parts of society, the more people value them. Social evaluation—profits that allow us to control society—is the measure. In other words, we pursue maximizing profits in this way of life.
- In a way of independent life, survival is the supreme end. Others are means. We can deprioritize contributions to others.
If you want to live more freely and stop caring about others, choosing the latter would be a way. Let me explain why below.
For survival: the purpose in independent life
“Survive!” This is the only evaluation of an independent life. Caring about others, such as worrying about whether we might bother others or feeling a necessity to contribute to others, is not as important as this.
Independence means living as its own species with our individuality. We don’t have to care about the prosperity of other species. The development of other species is the responsibility of themselves. As long as they don’t affect our lives, we don’t have to interfere with their affair.
For one species of life, the supreme goal is survival. Even if we make other species flourish, it is meaningless if we perish. This is the natural law.
Various forms of life have evolved and lived independently in this way. Even within the human species, there are many different species. Heading toward independence means we make one distinctive species.
In the law of nature, it doesn’t matter which species is great. Surviving life is strong. It is not just about physical genes. It includes staying alive as a way of thinking, a philosophy, or a lifestyle.
In other words, we don’t have to be ‘great’ if we head toward independence. Surviving only matters.
Social evaluations that confuse us
On the other hand, society makes us compare on various scales and confuses us. They may say,
“Richer people who are over millionaires are great! Others are poor.”
“People always on the trend is amazing. Being out of fashion is lame.”
“Popular people are good. If you are not, you are insignificant.”
“He is great because he is so selfless! People should be like him! (Implies others are inferior lives.)”
The contradiction of social evaluations
Society sometimes imposes such various values on us, despite their contradiction. This contradiction often suffers people with individuality.
Suicide among the younger generation is a prime example. They commit suicide because they think they should not exist. It means they don’t want to bother the people around them. They are helping others by committing suicide.
It doesn’t make sense to say that selflessness or kindness is good while saying that suicide should not be done.
Those contradictory social measures confuse and stress people with individuality.
Independence: an option to be happy
Heading toward independence frees us from unnecessary desire for evaluation. When we live independently, those social evaluations have nothing to do with our happiness.
In the first place, we never know what will lead to good results in the long term.
No one knows that helping others will make people happy. Failure can make a person grow. Some other people would be disadvantaged by it. Even if someone becomes unhappy, the people around him may learn from and reflect on it.
This world is diverse. It is arrogant and egotistic to assume that our help improves society and the world.
Our decision is the same. No one knows if distancing ourselves from society and becoming independent is good or bad for us or society.
We have hope for survival and happiness, so we do so. We don’t lie.
The way of life for people who don’t want to lie
In other words, we act for our own sake. “For others” is just a justification to obtain permission from others. What’s wrong with acting for ourselves?
An independent life gets rid of such social excuses. This would be a way of life for people who don’t want to lie.
This is a humble way of life. We will understand that abundance is a means of survival. Although we want abundance, we don’t need unnecessary wealth when we live independently. We know the moderate amount and don’t pursue too much. In other words, we can be humble.
Even comfort is a means of survival. Although we tend to want a comfortable and quiet life when we are in a stressful environment, after achieving sufficient comfort, we often seek a little hard problem and try willingly. This is also fun, and trying it fulfills us.
We have duality. We sometimes enjoy comfort but sometimes want exciting experiences in a tough situation. Being absorbed enough to forget to sleep and eat is sometimes the happiness in our lives.
Another option for people with individuality
These examples tell us a hard situation doesn’t mean unhappiness if we head toward independence. As long as we can live according to our hearts, we are happy.
In this way of life, we don’t live to help others. We live naturally and then do what we can do for others. For ourselves first, then for others. This would be our honest mind.
Of course, someone who can dedicate his life to something is wonderful. However, that is one aspect of our lives. For people with individuality, clinging to it can lose balance.
If you want to live more freely and stop caring about others, choosing this style would be a way.
Conclusion
That is the lifestyle of those who live independently.
In a way of independent life, survival is the supreme end. Others are means. As long as we can live according to our hearts, we are happy.
This knowledge might help you to live more freely and stop caring about others.
Thank you for reading this article. I hope to see you in the next one.
