Since I have to go to the dentist today, I will talk about something I recently felt: our belief that we are bad at making claims.
Assertion vs. consideration
I once believed that I was terrible at asserting myself, so I tried to be as considerate as possible.
However, after resolving my mental confusion, I let go of that belief. I have gradually been able to assert myself in some situations.
When communicating with extroverted people, asserting oneself directly is more effective than trying to be considerate. We don’t need to fear making claims.
In other words, an environment without assertions or consideration confuses us.
I realized that by experiencing my brother’s shop.
My brother was an extrovert. He was sociable and could lead those in weaker positions willingly. Although arrogance can sound negative, it becomes attractive when connected with sociability. Since such extroverted people often listen to friendly people, we can prioritize assertion over consideration. They prefer direct, clear requests.
An environment where we cannot communicate
However, my brother was trying to appear to be empathic and logical. That created a chaotic environment with neither argument nor consideration.
We need a communication method that is either assertive or considerate. Having neither causes confusion.
His refusal to give specific directions left the staff unsure what to do. In addition, the staff had also become unable to express their opinions. Even if they prompted something to my brother softly, he, a typical extrovert, could not understand such a roundabout way of speaking.
His way of interacting was miserable from the perspective of empathic and logical people, like us.
That made me realize that an environment needs appropriate communication, not more consideration.
In other words, we were not bad at claiming or communicating; we had no place with communicable methods. A healthy, extroverted place feels safe and lets us speak our wants directly. Even if we mention something inappropriate, they have clear standards for what should be insisted on and what should be avoided.
Rationality told me that expressing our wants comes first, and consideration follows afterward. Without conveying our feelings, communication will not begin.
Conclusion
That realization enabled me to assert myself more.
We may not need to force ourselves to be more empathic. We are already sufficiently considerate.
This perspective may help you state your point more directly to others.
Thank you for reading this article. I hope to see you in the next one.
