Now I am in a mood of relaxation. I felt a little sick after concluding the dualistic problem-solving method two days ago. Perhaps this is a backlash from concentrating too much on it.
Today, I will talk lightly about the benefits of that method.
How to live in peace with enjoyment
Sometimes, we want to live in peace with enjoyment. Many troubles and stagnation stress us. That makes us feel so.
However, we often cannot get out of the current stagnation. This is because we cannot find a breakthrough.
For example, we might feel we lack confidence. If we have it, we can challenge troubles actively. However, to have it, we must have enough successful experiences and skills. To succeed, we need to act. To act, we need confidence. We are back to the beginning!
For another example, we might feel we lack ideas about what to do. That makes us want more experiences. To experience more, we need an idea about what to experience. That makes us want more good ideas about what to do. We returned to the starting point again!
The endless loop of a bad cycle
These endless loops of ‘What need for that, and what should I do for it?’ make us stagnate and lose hope. Analyzing first in a chaotic situation often leads to getting stuck in a specific loop.
In such a case, changing the problem-solving way could help. One of them is the dualistic problem-solving method I introduced in an earlier article (this article). You can use it.
This discovery brought me two big changes in my life. Today, I will introduce them.
Two benefits of the dualistic problem-solving method
The dualistic problem-solving method is a way to solve abstract matters in a chaotic situation with many influential factors. In this method, we try to balance our two contradictory wants instead of identifying the cause.
For example, we focus on what is out of balance inside us instead of trying to get confidence or ideas. With this perspective, we might realize that we are too focused on productive activities and neglecting to rest for ourselves. This provides us with another perspective on what to do.
This perspective brought me two big benefits in my life. They are as follows:
- I no longer care about means.
- I am no longer rushing to achieve and can proceed at my own pace.
Let me explain them below.
No longer care about means
First, I no longer care about means. This is because I know I don’t know what good or bad is, especially for abstract problems, such as happiness or my way of life. When we balance objective and subjective perspectives, we understand it.
In other words, we can find everyone’s lies.
Everyone is lying. The prime example is teachers, including our parents. When we got the answer wrong, they said, ‘Don’t make a mistake,’ and punished us by lowering grades.
However, we knew that those teachers could also make mistakes. There was a clear contradiction. Whenever we encountered it, we should have wanted to insist, “If you all make mistakes too, how do you have the right to punish me!”
It was anger for their inconsistency.
The beginning of the misunderstanding
However, we made a mistake: we stopped doubting it and began aiming for perfect grades. Perhaps this was because we understood we could not win against them.
That was the beginning of our confusion. Sometimes, it is shaped as a mental complex. Sometimes, it causes us to lose our own values.
These ‘teachers’ were not right. Our senses were right. Their behaviors were contradictory. They said to be serious while they sleep in the night. They told us not to be lazy while they rest during break time.
In that sense, everyone is lying. This is because everyone is inconsistent. Everyone has two faces. They sometimes are active, but sometimes they must rest. Otherwise, they will die from fatigue.
However, as children, we took it for granted and forgot to doubt it. We tried to achieve one aspect of value sincerely. That caused our mental suffering.
The freedom of means
When we balance objective and subjective perspectives, we can understand these lies. Everyone, including ourselves, has at least two aspects of contradicted wants.
This awareness gives us the freedom of means. We know there are neither good nor bad. They are two contradictory aspects. Sometimes, one side is inappropriate. Sometimes, switching to the other side gives us balance.
When we understand this perspective, we will no longer care about means.
No longer rushing to achievement
The second benefit is that I am no longer rushing to achieve and can proceed at my own pace.
This is because it reassured me that there are always options, no matter the situation. In other words, I can have hope at all times.
Rushing toward achievement is caused by the fear that the current means may not work. If we have the next effective means, we don’t have to stick to our current way. The moment we judge the current means that don’t seem to work well, we can switch our ways quickly.
This reassures us and allows us to proceed at our own pace.
Conclusion
They were two big changes that the dualistic problem-solving method brought me.
If you see your abstract problems from this perspective, you would no longer care about means. In addition, you would no longer be rushing to achieve and can proceed at your own pace.
This method works well, especially for abstract matters, such as happiness or a way of life.
This knowledge might give you a balanced life of peace and enjoyment.
Thank you for reading this article. I hope to see you in the next one.
