In recent articles, I mentioned a state that I call a feedback loop of happiness several times. It is a state that allows us to grow up comfortably.
Today, I will talk about it in more detail.
How to grow ourselves without stress
Sometimes, we want to grow ourselves without stress. Developing our own potential is fun. It gives us hope and energy for the future. The process of focusing on one thing—learning, trying, achieving, and even failing—is all joyful.
That allows us to improve our lives comfortably, even little by little.
However, we sometimes cannot do it, especially when we force ourselves to grow up. In this situation, all the processes become painful and stressful. Perhaps you experienced this many times. During our student days, learning uninteresting things in the school often tired us.
That is why we want to grow ourselves without stress.
In this case, knowing the feedback loop of happiness might help you. This is a state in which we can grow our potential without stress. Today, I will explain it.
Two ways to grow up ourselves
There are two ways to grow up ourselves, as follows:
- Growth to dependent on society: We focus on how to win the competition with others. The more we master it in a short time, the better it is. Although this gives us social success and wealth, this is stressful.
- Growth to independent from society: We focus on how steadily we can grow. The more steadily we can master it, the better it is. Although this doesn’t bring us sudden change, we can improve ourselves and our lives steadily with fun.
If we move in the direction of more independence, the latter would suit us.
A system that allows us to grow comfortably and joyfully
In my opinion, we have a system that allows us to grow comfortably and joyfully when we want to be more self-reliant. I call this state a feedback loop of happiness.
Perhaps an example will make it easier to understand this state.
Imagine a situation where we are a baby and trying to stand up. Standing up on our own feet is one of the processes of self-reliance that reduces our dependence on others.
In this situation, we do it with concentration but don’t overdo it. Standing up is not a competition. We want to stand as steadily as possible, not as fast as anyone else. This frees us from unnecessary stress. We can focus on what we need now or next. If we feel we need more leg power, we try many times. If we think we have to balance, we focus on balancing our bodies.
There is no suffering of failure, even if we fall down. Although it might be painful physically, we don’t feel it is a failure. We can get feedback and focus on the next challenge. This allows us to try and achieve continuously.
This is the state of the feedback loop of happiness. We can try it with fun.
Growing to independent vs. growing to dependent
We can develop our abilities with fun as long as we go toward independence. After we stand up, we will want to be more self-reliant, such as trying to run, jump, climb on a rock, or ride a bicycle.
For self-reliance, the speed of learning doesn’t matter. Steadiness matters. It is better than trying to do it quickly and failing to achieve it.
In other words, making it happen itself is essential for our growth. That gives us potential, and we can improve our lives steadily.
The way to grow more dependent on society
On the other hand, when we try to grow more dependently on society, we have to prioritize learning speed over realizing itself.
A typical example is the school grades. They are to measure how quickly we can learn by a certain age. Those who master more can go on more excellent career paths, such as higher levels of schools or companies with high salaries.
School grades don’t matter if we have mastered them or not. If we are better than others, that is fine.
Not only school grades but also all activities evaluated by society are the same. Even if someone cannot jump high enough to catch an orange fruit on the tall orange tree, if no one can jump higher than him at the Olympic Games, he will be appreciated. Society’s evaluation gives him honor and wealth.
In terms of growing more dependent on society, he will achieve the purpose, even if he is unsatisfied with not harvesting orange fruits himself. He has to rely on society to eat an orange fruit. This is the growth dependent on society.
The concept of stages in life and going casually
That is why we can grow comfortably and joyfully if we want to go toward independence.
We can think of our challenges in life as the stages of life. This concept would allow us to focus on our steady growth and eliminate competition. We think we have various stages in life. Different people have different types of challenges.
In this concept, speed doesn’t matter. We know neither what is easy and difficult nor what is valuable and worthless. Standing up is easy for someone healthy, but it would be hard for someone without legs. We also don’t know whether trying to stand up without legs is respectable or miserable. He might invent new prosthetic legs while being despised by others.
One thing is for sure: he can improve his life with these prosthetic legs. It is not a matter of speed.
He would have stages in life, such as a struggling stage, a stage of meeting with prosthetic legs, a stage of trying them, a stage of improving them, or a stage of sharing them. We cannot compare these stages with others’ stages.
Going at our own pace
In this feedback loop of happiness, we don’t have to decide things boldly. We will continue to try casually. This gives us comfort and fewer risks of fatal failure.
Impatience causes doing things boldly. It is not the way to improve our lives steadily.
When we try casually and find a good way, we cannot help but get carried away. We naturally get enthusiastic and concentrate on it. Although it might sometimes make us forget to eat and sleep, it gives us our growth and steady improvement. It is not a bold mind.
Deciding by mood would help us try casually. This makes us try a small step with curiosity instead of bold and risky, large steps.
Feeling the fun of concentration without rushing is the fastest way to independence.
Conclusion
That is why knowing the feedback loop of happiness might help us grow ourselves without stress.
This is a state in which we can grow our potential with fun.
This knowledge might give us steady improvement in life.
Thank you for reading this article. I hope to see you in the next one.
