In the previous article (this article), I mentioned how to deal with failure. Failure is just a trigger for change. It never determines our futures. Our new decisions learned from the failure determine our futures.
Today, I will explain the mental processes to be honest about our wants.
How to improve our lives
Sometimes, we want to get out of stagnation and improve our lives. We might have to deal with many stressful things, such as not having enough rewards for our hard work, caring for others but not being cared for, or feeling the meaninglessness of our existence. They exhaust us and make us lose our energy to live. That makes us want to change our lives.
There could be many factors that cause our stagnation.
Dishonesty toward ourselves might be a typical factor. We ignore our honest wants and keep lying to ourselves. That makes us forget our true desires.
For example, we might try to satisfy those who will never be satisfied. Although we feel we don’t want to help them anymore, we lie to ourselves and convince ourselves, ‘Someday, I will be rewarded,’ even if we know it won’t happen.
If we think about it calmly, such a future is impossible. However, we stick to believing so and persuade ourselves to keep going in the current direction.
Today, I will explain the mental processes of why we keep lying to ourselves. This awareness might allow us to stop our dishonesty toward ourselves and start our lives.
The mental process of honest and dishonest people
Changing our direction in life means being honest with ourselves. Honest minds tell us what truly satisfies us. Honesty eliminates superficial wants, such as appearance or trivial profits. That is why the goal set with our honesty gives us energy and fulfillment.
Let me explain the mental processes of honest and dishonest people.
By the way, we assume we are empathic and creative people in this article. Although the majority of people distinguish their private intentions and public words effectively, honesty will allow people like us to reduce confusion about value.
How mentally healthy people think
Mentally healthy people process difficulties and failures as follows:
- (When they meet an unexpected difficulty, they are shocked by the difference between anticipation and reality.)
- They accept their misconceptions about reality, get depressed, and cry with tears.
- They become more honest with themselves. That makes them throw away unnecessary superficial wants and try to focus on what they truly want. In other words, they concentrate on the more efficient wants in their lives.
- That makes their lives easier and allows them to improve their state.
How stagnant people think
On the other hand, people with stagnation tend to deal with difficulties as follows:
- (When they meet an unexpected difficulty, they are shocked by the difference between anticipation and reality.)
- They deny the reality. They never get depressed or cry. They believe that strong people neither get depressed nor cry. They try to be strong and never surrender.
- They ignore their honest minds. They treat their honest wants as mental weaknesses. They believe that achieving difficult things patiently improves their lives. Although they want to make their lives easier, they keep trying to do difficult things.
- That makes their lives harder and stagnate.
How to deal with honesty
Being more honest with ourselves gives us the efficiency to satisfy ourselves because it tells us what we truly want. That allows us to let go of superficial wants.
On the other hand, being dishonest with ourselves means we stick to superficial wants. We usually think only about small gains and how to be appreciated by society.
In this state, we tend not to allow failures. We feel we must succeed in our current goals.
That often makes us make a bet of all-or-nothing. We succeed in the current goal or lose everything. That makes us serious and desperate. We believe that such an urgent and high-energy state gives us the power to break through the difficulty.
Which is a ‘strong’ mind?
However, such desperation never satisfies us. On the contrary, it exhausts us because it means we are going in the wrong direction. We never despair if we are heading in the direction that suits us.
That is why we despair. If we fail, we lose everything. Even if we succeed, we can never escape exhaustion. Both are hell. Trying to be stronger causes despair.
Strong people who never cry are fragile. Although they might be strong superficially to be accepted socially, they are cowards to feel their honest minds. They are not confident in going their own way.
On the other hand, people who can cry look weak but can flexibly modify their lives. They have the healthy mental power to face their inner minds. If we have individuality, try allowing ourselves to cry when failing. That will encourage us to go our own way, even if we have to go alone.
Misunderstanding of keeping superficial power as their power makes us cowards who try to be strong.
If we are empathic and creative, being honest with ourselves might suit us. That gives us flexible lives.
Conclusion
They are the mental processes of honest and dishonest people.
This awareness might allow us to stop our dishonesty toward ourselves and start our lives.
Thank you for reading this article. I hope to see you in the next one.
