Recently, I have talked about a new way of thinking after I have solved my mental problems. Today, I will explain how to achieve our goals while fulfilling ourselves.
How to achieve our goals
Sometimes, we want to achieve our goals to live more comfortably. We might have many stressful things, such as an exhausting job, stressful human relationships, a lack of freedom, or unrewarding consideration for others. They drive us to achieve our ideals.
We can change our lives at any time if we have empathy and creativity. Empathy gives us the ability to secure long-term safety. Creativity provides us with the flexibility to adapt to a new environment. That is why people with high empathy and creativity are the ones who can change the future easily.
Bad goals that don’t fulfill us
However, we often don’t know how to set goals that fulfill us.
A typical example is the impatience to achieve a goal. We often fret about our accomplishments because we want them immediately.
That is inappropriate as a goal because a suitable goal doesn’t irritate us. If we are heading toward an appropriate goal and approach it, we become calmer. We know it is only a matter of time. We can wait and enjoy every day.
For example, assume we like traveling. We won’t be in a hurry if we have already scheduled a new destination next month. We can wait because it is only a matter of time.
What is an appropriate goal?
In other words, we get impatient if we feel the goal won’t meet our wishes.
For example, we might expect that becoming a famous YouTuber will allow us to live a free and secluded life in the countryside. However, at the same time, we think that it won’t make our wishes come true. Becoming a famous YouTuber has nothing to do with a free life. A free life is one with fewer social restrictions. Becoming famous is a way to have more social restrictions. They are contradictory.
That makes us impatient to achieve a goal. Achieving or approaching those goals doesn’t bring us closer to our ideal life. That is why they never fulfill us, no matter how many goals that excite us we achieve.
In that case, knowing how to achieve the goals of people who have solved the inferiority complex might work. We don’t have to realize an exciting vision. People without an inferiority complex do differently.
Today, I will introduce it. This way of thinking might help us achieve our ideals while enjoying our everyday lives.
Two approaches to achieving our goals
Fortunately, I solved my mental problems about four months ago. That taught me how to achieve our goals without an inferiority complex.
There are two approaches to achieving our goals, as follows:
- Proceeding directly in a positive direction: It is easy to get a social position but hard to fulfill ourselves. We tend to be impatient and cannot enjoy everyday life.
- Proceeding while caring about two contradictory sides: It requires flexible changes according to the cyclical changes in our minds, but we can satisfy ourselves. We can be calm and enjoy progressing.
In this article, assume we are people with high empathy and creativity.
Two approaches: obtaining social positions and fulfilling ourselves
If we have an inferiority complex, we tend to be the former, going directly only in a positive direction. We try to accomplish the goal by taking the shortest route.
This is efficient for obtaining social positions because a social position only needs to satisfy one social responsibility. For example, if we are farmers, we grow good vegetables. If we are auto mechanics, we repair cars well. We focus on only one aspect of the value that we provide.
That simplicity makes it easier to show value to society and contribute to it.
Two contradictory senses inside us
However, it is hard to satisfy ourselves because we have at least two contradictory senses.
If we want to fulfill ourselves, we have to proceed while caring about them.
I like to classify our senses into four types, as shown in the following image:
An example of empathy and logical sense
If we are innovative empaths—people with empathy and creativity—we have two contradictory senses: empathy and logical sense.
- Empathy requires filling emotions, satisfying excitement, imagining ideals, helping weak people, or securing long-term safety.
- Logical sense requires dealing with reality, physical problems, being based on logic, or determining by deducing.
They are contradictory. Logical sense excludes emotional judgment. Imagination gives us unlimited goals, but logical sense gives us limited and optimal solutions. Empathy makes us feel like helping weak people unconditionally, but logical sense allows us to decide who not to help. Empathy allows us long-term safety, but logical sense drives us to do trial and error immediately.
We are organisms with such a complex system. We are not simple. We have at least two contradictory aspects. That is why satisfying only one aspect, like obtaining a social position, doesn’t satisfy us.
Correcting misunderstandings about how to achieve
If we have an inferiority complex, we tend to misunderstand them. We try to satisfy ourselves in the same way as obtaining a social position.
In other words, we misunderstand that a better social position gives us happiness. Although people without individuality might be able to get happiness by chasing social positions, that is not for people with individuality like us.
That is why, when we try to provide value to society, we often feel like we hide our honest minds and lie to people. We always have contradictory minds, but we have to conceal one side of our senses. That makes us feel like we are living dishonestly.
Too biased toward empathy
We tend to be too biased toward empathy if we are empathic and creative people and live in a stable place for the long term. That often causes us to try to go straight toward a social position to satisfy ourselves.
For example, we tend to set goals based on our imagination or emotions rather than logical judgment. We might believe an infinite goal for imagination is more precious than a logical, restricted one. We might choose exciting goals over reasonable judgment. We might prefer dramatic growth to small improvements.
They prevent us from being satisfied, no matter how many times we achieve goals that excite us.
In addition, ignoring our unsatisfactory side creates stagnation. That accelerates our impatience.
Proceeding while caring for two contradictory sides
On the other hand, if we proceed while caring for two contradictory sides, we can feel satisfaction in our lives immediately. We can feel improvement, even if it is little by little.
We can find the right way because we can judge our ways by our sense of comfort. We can judge our direction by whether it suits us or not, instead of whether it is good or bad.
In other words, we anticipate, prepare, and respond to the changes inside us. We feel another side inside us and move forward instead of rushing. It is not achieving something; it is anticipating and responding.
That makes us calm because we understand we will get better as we proceed. It is a matter of time. We don’t have to be in a hurry because we know we are certainly heading in the right direction. We can wait and enjoy every day.
Conclusion
That is a way to achieve our goals while fulfilling ourselves.
Perhaps this is the style people who have solved the inferiority complex prefer.
This way of thinking might help us achieve our ideals while enjoying our everyday lives.
Thank you for reading this article. I hope to see you in the next one.
