Over the past year, after I started living rationally, I have gradually understood the mental state of spiritually healthy people.
One thing I realized recently is that many people overuse the words ‘happy’ and ‘love.’ That often confuses empathic and logical people. Let’s discuss it.
What are true happiness and love?
Sometimes, we want true happiness or love. It is something symbolic that fulfills us.
Complete comfort and acceptance—that may be the image of happiness and love for many people, especially for those with mental confusion.
For example, suppose a man with mental complexity. He desired true happiness and love. His true happiness was a peaceful state free from suffering, and his true love was someone accepting him entirely without denying any part of him. That made him seek people and environments that never reject him.
Despite his strong desire, we can soon guess that he never obtains them. Rationally speaking, there is no such thing in the world. Although some dreamy spiritualists claim they exist, something fundamental is missing there. We want a convincing mental logic that calms our excessive emotions, and we cannot believe in teachings that go against the natural laws.
In other words, we want logic that includes the reasons for our sufferings rather than baseless dreams.
I recently realized that people’s overuse of ‘happy’ and ‘love’ confused us. Reframing them can help us resolve our mental confusion. Today, I will explain why.
The misuse of happiness and love
Don’t use the words ‘happy’ and ‘love’ so easily to express your emotions. Happiness and love have nothing to do with your emotional state. Misuse of words creates confusion.
Happiness and love are profound. They should not be used to describe superficial things, like emotions.
For example, happiness requires a broader, long-term perspective. Today’s setbacks can lead to leaps forward next year. Although it discourages us in the short term, we could become prosperous in the long run. Similarly, even if our competitors deny us, a larger authority, such as our president or a law of nature, may evaluate us. Although people close to us criticize us, a larger thing may accept us. The appearance of the events doesn’t indicate happiness.
The same goes for love. Not denying someone at all or preventing them from all failures is not love. When the other person is wrong, denying them and correcting them can also be a form of love. It is something that can only be judged from a broader, long-term perspective.
That is why happiness and love are profound. We never know whether something will lead to happiness or love.
The cause of confusion
However, treating them as superficial things causes mental confusion.
For example, on social media, someone tasted cheesecake and said with a photo, ‘I’m happy!’ Someone else who dated the fiancée tweeted with a photo of them hugging each other, ‘I felt his/her love.’
Their vocabulary is inappropriate. Enjoying a cheesecake is pleasant, not happiness. Hugging each other and feeling the same emotional state should be described as peace or feeling warmth, not love. Although happiness and love include joy and satisfaction, that is not everything. They can contain sadness and farewells.
In other words, they are treating superficial, temporary positive emotions as profound things.
This tendency is peculiar, especially in those with an inferiority complex. Perhaps they want to show off their status. That makes them describe temporary emotions as profound things.
Rethinking how we use ‘happy’ and ‘love’
Misunderstanding superficial gladness as deep happiness or love leads us to pursue only shallow things.
A typical example is the man I mentioned at the top of this article. His true happiness was a peaceful state free from suffering, and his true love was someone accepting him entirely without denying any part of him. Those superficial images made him seek people and environments that would never reject him.
That is why we can guess that he never obtains such happiness or love. He is chasing the ultimate in shallowness. As long as he remains in the superficial area, he will never feel the satisfaction that only deep areas provide.
Rationality solves those misunderstandings. It enables us to describe and recognize our emotions correctly. We properly understand our internal and outward condition. That allows us to identify our physical or emotional stress and handle it specifically.
Solving stresses appropriately and rationally frees us from pursuing profound satisfaction, such as happiness or love. We can fulfill the desire for true happiness or love without obtaining them.
Conclusion
That is why people’s overuse of ‘happy’ and ‘love’ confuses us.
Don’t use the words ‘happy’ and ‘love’ so easily to express your emotions. Happiness and love have nothing to do with your superficial emotional state.
Reframing them may help you resolve your mental confusion.
Thank you for reading this article. I hope to see you in the next one.
