In the previous article (this article), I mentioned my thoughts about charity. Although I like to please people, I remembered that I have always felt pain when donating. That made me consider why. Let’s discuss it.
Why we feel pain in helping others
Sometimes, we want to help socially weak people and make them glad. Empathy turns others’ pleasure into our happiness.
However, we sometimes feel pain in helping others.
One example is donating. Although we logically understand that many weak people are suffering in the world, we sometimes feel pain in making donations. In other words, our emotions reject them.
Recently, I finally realized the reason. It told me that we empathic and logical people don’t need to force ourselves to help others, especially in the early stages of life. Today, I will explain why. This logic might free you from the mental complex of being weak.
Two reasons for pain
In my opinion, we empathic and logical people don’t need to force ourselves to donate or contribute to others, especially in the first half of life. Rather, cultivating rationality will help us.
We often have pain in donating, despite our intense empathy. There are two main reasons why we feel that way. They are as follows:
- Donation doesn’t stimulate our empathy. We want to help those who are grieving, not management organizations.
- When we are suffering, we are the weakest in the society we belong to. Empathic and logical people tend to be powerless due to their uniqueness, especially in the first half of life. It means we need to help ourselves more than weak people in other societies.
Let’s look at each in detail below.
Help without empathy
The first reason we feel pain in donating is that it doesn’t stimulate our empathy.
We want to help weak people, not the charitable organizations. We want to connect with the emotions of those who are suffering. Then, we want to solve their problems with our creativity. We prefer to solve problems directly with our creativity rather than join management organizations or review their financial reports.
Those charitable organizations are not emotionally sad. They are on the side that provides help. It means that they are the strong side in society. Even if we make a great sacrifice, their joy is small.
That is why we are not enthusiastic about donating. Participation in donations is for those who want to do things together with everyone.
Identifying the person who should be helped
The second reason we feel pain in donating is that we need help. In other words, we are the weakest in the society we belong to.
If there is even one person weaker than ourselves in the society we belong to, we naturally feel energized and want to help them. It means that we are the most helpless, so we want to help no one, despite having the nature of intense empathy. We need to help ourselves rather than someone outside of the society we belong to.
If we are empathic and logical, we naturally tend to be the weakest in society due to our uniqueness. We cannot live the same way as our surroundings. However, we often don’t know how to use our uniqueness. It takes time to discover how to show our individuality as a unique talent. That puts us in a weak position in society, especially in the first half of life.
Rationality is the power to improve ourselves. It tells us that being different from others and not having fundamental things have nothing to do with our happiness. It shows us how to use our individuality, including our unique circumstances, effectively. That makes us strategic and solidly enriches us based on our personality.
When we have enough strength to live comfortably, we will naturally recognize who to help in the society we belong to.
In other words, we need to recognize that we need to help ourselves first, especially if we are empathic and logical. Be rational, and that reduces your stress and enriches you. From that perspective, paying money to charitable organizations is often ineffective in helping ourselves.
Conclusion
That is why we empathic and logical people don’t force ourselves to donate or contribute to others, especially in the first half of life.
Rather, cultivating rationality will help us.
This logic might free you from the mental complex of being weak.
Thank you for reading this article. I hope to see you in the next one.
