I have finally understood it. There was a doubt I could not put into words about what was confusing us, but I became able to explain it. It is about why we are exhausted. Today, I will talk about it.
How to obtain the power to change
Sometimes, we want the power to change our lives and be happy. In other words, we are stagnant in a stressful situation and want to break through.
That makes us desire the power to change.
One typical reaction is trying to find our strengths. We have unique individuality. It should mean that we have the capabilities for something. If we identify it, we can change our situation.
I used to believe so.
However, after I started to train my logical sense, I began to doubt it, and I was finally able to put it into words.
Trying to find our strengths will not make us happy, especially if we have empathy and logical sense. Today, I will explain why.
Strength vs. balance
Strengths will not make us happy. Balance will. In other words, it is wrong to recognize all our circumstances as advantages.
The reason is simple. The desire for strength itself is caused by too intense empathy. Our imbalances cause discontent with our lives. Strength doesn’t improve the imbalance. On the contrary, it solidifies the bias.
If we want to be happy, there are two ways as follows:
- Trying to balance the imbalance: This directly affects our discontent. In other words, it influences our happiness.
- Trying to make the imbalance our advantage: Its purpose is for social success. Advantages are for comparisons and competition with others. It means that we cannot be happy without social success.
That is why trying to find our strengths will not make us happy, especially if we are empathic and logical. We don’t have to find our advantages.
Balance that creates happiness
To be happy, we should focus on balancing our imbalances.
A typical example of imbalance is intense empathy and poor logical sense. They often make us do nothing but waste time.
Uncontrollable empathy continues to give us anxiety about the future. Even if we don’t know whether it will happen, we feel fear regardless of the probability.
It makes us prepare for the future, even if it is unnecessary. Some might try to make more money patiently, and some might try to do disgusting things.
These efforts have no rewards, so they seek rewards. They often deliberately praise themselves, saying, “I did this (unpleasant) job well; I am great!” It symbolizes that their work is a waste.
It is self-destruction. It is not great at all. It means, “Look at me, I did something wasteful, great!” Naturally, they improve nothing and are exhausted.
Preventing self-destruction
Balancing our empathy and logical sense can prevent such self-destruction.
Logical sense provides us with rationality. It eliminates such waste.
For example, it tells us, “What is the probability of it happening? Is it fatal? Are your fears and preparations reasonable?”
Even if we don’t know whether it will happen, it teaches us that it is pointless to continue to worry about such a thing.
If the unexpected happens, it cannot be helped. We can deal with what is available at hand at that time. Regardless of the strength of empathy, the unexpected will always happen. Perhaps there is little difference between preparing too much and reasonable preparation.
However, rationality gives us another benefit. We keep improving our lives solidly instead of preparing for unnecessary things. It might be more effective to survive. That is the reasonable way.
My realization
Ultimately, it is a matter of whether we want change or stability. Rationality gives us the power of change. On the other hand, empathy provides us with stability.
In my case, I wished to change, so I chose to develop my logical sense.
That made me realize that I was worrying and doing useless things repeatedly. I should have just relaxed and waited.
I didn’t need to achieve anything to be happy. All I needed to do was make a slight adjustment. It gave me significant improvement.
If you want to be happy and change, you don’t have to find your strengths. Balance your imbalance. If you have too intense empathy, train your logical sense.
Until we are aware of our harmonious state, we don’t have to do anything to endure. Instead, relax. Although it might look like laziness, it would be the reasonable way to improve our lives.
Conclusion
That is why trying to find our strengths will not make us happy.
Our intense empathy causes that desire.
Balance your imbalance instead of searching for strengths.
Although it might look like laziness, it would be the reasonable way to improve our lives.
Thank you for reading this article. I hope to see you in the next one.
